Spoiler Moment : Strip the Difference 4 Uncut

Updates.

- Apparently there are... two plus two girls available, with girl 3 coming soon... or something.

- Spent time on the second girl finding differences in wall smudges, flooring and the girl... once again it's blind trial and error and memorizing the hotspots. And once again zero stripping... but once again I got another 24 hour wait on the first bonus on the second girl, but that is an update for tomorrow.

Speaking of which waiting on the first 24 hours to end so that update will be up shortly...

But so far? Strip the Difference is like a strip club... in which nobody strips, and where dancers performs pantomime detailing daily life in a stiff robotic fashion.

So yes, still a 1 out of 5, but stay tuned to the update all all the same.

Tablet Reviews : Vitapoly's Strip the Difference 4 Uncut

Here we go again, today's victim being a spot he difference game called Strip he Difference 4 Uncut... uncut? Really? Anyway Strip the Difference 4 from Vitapoly. Ok. There are a few things you need to understand about this that isn't explained well from the reviews on the android app store.

- The reason why only the larger tablets are best for this is because the game utilizes too many small details and using magnify sometimes registers as you tapping the screen making a selection. The magnify should have been like the magnify in Mystery Manor (pinching and stretching for magnify).

- Each puzzle uses hot spots for find the differences, like all hidden objects and find the differences games. Simply remembering each hot spot on each level will speed things up, even if the game tries to expand lifespan by changing certain hot spot choices from play to play.

- The game is a micro transactions game, even if it only means selling hints... or upgrades. That limits the games lifespan if you, like me, ain't spending money on inferior freeware.

- This is called Strip the Difference, only I played half of the 8 levels, and while she wears a skimpy outfit at no point does she strips... yes, she has a disturbing motion cycle each level, but that is to hide certain differences only visible and thus selectable in one position but not the other. For the first four levels she remains in the same clothes... as for Level 5... I mean Bonus Level 1 (once again the whole insufferable limited content)... waiting 24 hours to access that. Update to come.

- Almost forgot... there is at least one error (Level 2) with a false difference (bottom left drawer of cabinet) that is a graphics error. Probably more of these in this game, but that was the most noticeable to me.

Limited, flawed, and even if she strips stark naked and concludes the cycle with a gratuitous masturbation reward this won't get past a 2 out of 5... as it stands it's a 1 out of 5, pass on this one, and stay tuned for Spoiler Moment later this week as I reveal the content of the bonus levels.

Coming Soon : Anatomy of a Good Adult Game

Presently the Android app store is missing that adult spark... that is actually worth playing and isn't a Trojan horse for data miners looking to sell your likes to Nabisco, McDonald's, Coke and every other company looking to improve sales. This series of articles takes s present game from the android store and improves it. For instance..

Inspired by Pocket Gems Campus Life
How utterly baffling. Even EA's Sims had a naughty element that could pass muster with the android app store in the beds characters could lie in and have sex in sight unseen... but I crank it up to 30 in this full on all lesbian sex game mod.

Inspired by Game Insight' Mystery Manor
When I first met the static image of the manor' s maid, she was hiding in the bedroom closet proclaiming she was naked... of course static image so nothing... now how about a Playboy Mansion SIM game meets hidden object where you pick your gender scenario, and wander about completing hidden object quests to strip and... adult game. Something that never happens in modern adult games.

That is just the start of enlightenment... that will never  happen as long as flashing barely visible single titty makes millions of conservofascists heads explode. Still... well, I am going to dream all the same.

Reverse Logic Review : Bibleslot dot com's Bible Slots

Well since most of the adult content of the android app store is buggy nonsense how about a religious experience where you celebrate the bible... by indulging in gambling. Seriously, it's a game loaded with bible themed slot machines, if this was a religious casino SIM Pat Robertson would be performing his crazy intolerance act in the casino theater making your social morals vanish with a wave of his hand.
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You start the game with 4 machines. Three dime slots in Adam & Eve, Noah' s Story and Christmas Story aka the birth of Jesus. There is also one quarter slot in The Story of Exodus. You also start with $500 and level 1 experience. The purpose is simple, play the machines and build up money and experience playing the machines... h u h? All the machines are already available? Three more quarters in Samson and Delilah... two dollar machines involving Jesus and Joesph and the Amazing Technicolor dream coat... and a five dollar slot about the End of Days not involving Left Behind or Arnold Schwarzenegger.

So... what's the point of playing and leveling up if your not even unlocking machines... maybe there's a point... hold on... checking...Oh Damn my head hurts! What is the point of this shovelware other than to addict you to gambling! Making it about the bible is pointless as it teaches you NOTHING about the bible! In fact all you do is bet money, spin, and repeat... Oh, and get shilled by the game to exchange real money for fake virtual money, and if your going to waste real money you might as well go to a real virtual casino... which you can't do in Hawaii as long as the Democrats rule with an iron fist (under their Republican costumes and fistfuls of special interest money).

Other than to give you little bursts of free slot machine fun this is just plain boring, and yes there are better slot machine games out there... skip this one. Bible Slots pulls and spins five Holy Jigglypuffs, zeroing out.

I'd like to say one day we'll be reviewing an adult sex SIM set in biblical times... except we can't even find an adult sex SIM set in the here and now so... stay tuned for more fails.

Failure to Launch : Giant Mobile' Sexy Sinema California Girls Volume 1-3

Remember when I said the Android app store would be pretty empty of adult content if they actually applied some quality control on the stuff they post? This is one of those fillers that wouldn't make the cut.

Supposedly a batch of 3 ladies with 3 minute videos this should be the simplest thing to pull off even for Giant Mobile... except from the complaints in the review section they can't even do t gat without rolling out a crash buggy mess that fails instantly on launch... on the bright side GameLoft' s Men in Black 3 now has company in the insta-fail category.

I would say this is a joke app, but Giant Mobile is actually charging $2 or 200 credits a pop for something that refuses to load properly, forget play. Why this hasn't been purged from the android app store is obvious, if they actually tried to apply serious quality control standards on these there would be practically no adult content that would meet standards... that doesn't mean you have to waste money on trash. As I see it? You want my money, Giant? Fix this trash and prove to me you deserve it. Otherwise go to sleep, Giant Mobile, here is your Jigglypuff!

I'd like to say this is a rarity, but truth is telling you about an adult title worth owning is the sad rarity. So stay tuned, more fail coming up.

Summer 2013 Day 18 : And your not over at Newground because...

Oh, right, tablets are another frontier of anti flash player devices that won't let you use flash, keeping you from using Facebook social games as well as sites like Newgrounds. My bad.

Point is even the best Android app adult title would be a low rated title on Newground, whose adult games would never get anywhere near the Android app store. Even then? Way too many titles would get a Jigglypuff sight unseen from all the horror stories in the reviews section. Games that crash, data mining games, useless games, flawed games, alot of these should never have made it onto the Android store in the first place... only if they actually tried to quality control the adult content there would be practically nothing to look at. Alot of it is that flawed and messed up.

Well, hopefully next time I manage to find something worth reviewing. Stay tuned.

Tablet Review : ViMap Services Sexy 4 Card Poker

This should be old hat by now... and we are only on review #2... sigh.

Another so called Adult game with Teen quality cheesecake photos of ladies in lingerie or swimsuits. At best, if you want to call it the game's best point, the game's gimmicky card game is at least fresh. You are dealt 5 cards, and have to drop 1 for the best hand possible. That means quick short hands of cards... but to what end? From my understanding the static images are completely random everytime a new hand is dealt, so your not even trying to strip ladies in this game. You just play cards, and look at random images. That's it.

On the bright side the card game is at least New, if very limited without options to play other card games. Also some of the images are nice, even if shortly seen without a strip poker option. Well... a 2 out if 5. A short stack of pointless but at least it's... ok.

Sadly I have a bad feeling it will be hard to find a game that rises above "acceptably mediocre" but we will see w hat we can do. Stay tuned.